Job Hunting or "What do you want to do?"

I never was a high school dance type of kid. I've found it difficult and unpalatable to stand up and demand what I want. People can freak me out. (I'm seeking help with that one). All this said, I gotta go out and shake my ass and land a job.

"What do you want to do?" There I said it for you dear reader. I'd like to work with nice people who don't freak me out. I'm smart, I can be passionate if something strikes me as important or meaningful, I love love love some people and would do anything for them, a lot of folks freak me out and I'm have a screaming urge to run.

Oh, and a livable wage would be nice.

Well, there I've said. Let the ass shaking begin.

Life To Date In Review (from a fitness perspective)

I spoke with my old pal Jeff yesterday. He is back living in Cleveland, Ohio after a couple of years working on a remote farm in Hawaii. He is about three weeks off the farm, and told me he's gained a few pounds due to not running around the farm all day. While farming he had really leaned out, and remarked that he hadn't been at the farm-weight since he was fourteen years old. That got me thinking.

At age eighteen my buddy Chris, his sister Liz, and I began a daily trek to a Nautilus Gym. I'd always halfheartedly participated in sports but this was my first foray into being fit and healthy. It worked pretty well. I leaned out and from age eighteen to thirty-five or so I was usually pretty fit. Some times very fit, some times not so much. My weight from age 18 -to- 35 fluctuated between 155 lbs. and 190 lbs. That is right in the Team Green zone up to the lower echelons of the overweight range.

This idea of Jeff reaching the same weight he had at fourteen had me thinking. Before my age eighteen fitness kick I'd always be sort of soft, I wasn't skinny nor was I obese, just soft. I was probably overweight most of my childhood, but I didn't have any data. It occurred to me that at age 14 I played organized kiddie football and toward the end of the season I remember bumping up against the weight limit. I vaguely recall it being 155 lbs. Sure enough the league and the team "The Ventura Packers Youth Football Team" are still up and running and the limits for my age division is 155 lbs. That's it.

I weighed 155 lbs. just after turning age fourteen and I weighed 155 lbs. at age twenty-eight after getting out of the Navy. In that interim I had grown a couple of inches ... well maybe one or two inches. Even though I never obsessed over weight or thought poorly of myself because of my size, I did feel kind of soft and chunky, and in reality I was an overweight kid.

I'm not beating up my inner fat kid here, as a matter of fact in a weird way it is uplifting and motivating, that as I become a member of Team Green, I too will be back to my age fourteen weight.

The Decade in Review

Here's both some data on my decade, and my first bar graph in HTML :)

Date	Weight in Lbs.
Today	210
August 2010	218
July 4, 2010	234
July 2010	228
May 2010	231
April 2010	230
March 2010	230
February 2010	227
July 2009	206
June 2009	203
May 2009	211
April 2009	218
April 2004	221
March 2003	224
October 2002	227

The Bloggers

Another very irreverent and enigmatic weight loss blogger that I shouldn't leave out, "Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit: If You Think Weight Loss Is Impossible You Don't Know Jack Sh*t." Stealing liberally from his theme today on Before and After photos. Most weight loss bloggers have them. The Biggest Loser reality TV show lives for them, and as Jack Sh*t writes many people who want to lose weight loath the idea of having their picture taken.

Yesterday I introduced you to two weight loss bloggers The Anti-Jared, and Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. Tony and Sean. Both lost over 200 lbs.

After being so puffed up Tony, of The Anti-Jared, sought the beefcake look. Understandable.

Sean, of Daily Diary of a Winning Loser, down around 270 lbs, and just on the cusp of reaching his goal weight goes from double extra cheese...



... to foie gras and truffles.

These are real actual bloggers, who are doing their thing as I live and breath. Kudos to them for extending the energy to blog and inspire.

I'm considering digging out some Before photos, or more accurately Current photos. I'll let you know.

Team Green

I am joining Team Green. I am going to shrink into the "Green" zone on the Body Mass Index chart. At the doctors' office this week I disproved the height listed on my drivers license. The current measurement is 5 foot 8 inches. Plug this into the chart and voilà I have a Green Zone range.

~
My starting weight right around July 4th 2010 was 234 lbs. and I am a discontent member of Team Blue right now.

As ridiculous as it may sound amongst other things the TV reality show The Biggest Loser inspired me to undertake this. There are many big ol' tubs of goo that change things up, trim up, and begin smiling much more. After watching some of the seasons of the show, I branched off into what is much more tangible and informative, the world of weight loss bloggers. Some are just riveting personal stories, and histories, pragmatic descriptions of the mechanics of dropping lard.

Three guys are figuring out maintenance after their weight loss
F Daddy Rants
The Anti-Jared
344 Pounds: How I Lost 100+ Pounds by Counting Calories

This fourth guy is just on the cusp of reaching his goal. I imagine any day now his two and half year project is going to hit paydirt.
The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser

The Anti-Jared and Winning Loser (Tony and Sean) both lost over 200 lbs. in their projects. 344 Pounds (Tyler) lost around 120 lbs. and F Daddy Rants dropped 80 lbs. or so. Some of their stories and some of their pictures are stunning, and awe inspiring.

Watching The Biggest Loser gave my some inspiration, then learning of these other people sharing while in the throes of their journeys gave my some real concrete role models.

My philosophy, or diet, or secret, or technique is from the old saying "The best exercise is the one you actually do." I think anything a person buys into, and accepts as possible, and adopts with optimism can do the trick. As my friend Eric told me, the mechanics of losing weight is pretty simple, the enthusiasm, the endorphins, the compliments, the loose jeans, all that stuff is cake (low-cal cake). The challenge is the emotion around it, and before it, and after it. Everyone knows that the BMI is just a crude approximation. Yeah, so what. It is the one I am going to buy into. I think that is all it takes.

My goal for Team Green is two equal, inseparable, and challenging parts. First drop a whole bunch of weight. Natch.

The second part is the art behind this, I want to dedicate myself to a six month, post hitting my goal plateau. All three of the guys above, and nearly every Biggest Loser person I've read about, hits some goal. Great! Confetti, parties, newspaper and TV interviews, acclaim and fame. Then after dropping one hundred pounds to reach their goal they re-gain twenty pounds straight away. It makes sense, like a marathon racer stopping at the finish line. The race is over, time to forget it for a little bit.

I want a sublime six month plateau upon reaching my goal weight. If after my six month maintenance plateau finds me still feeling too big, I would then consider getting to another goal weight. If after six months I feel scrawny and cold, I may pump up some additional pounds. I may find after six months that things are just right, I'll then continue on at that goal plateau. I want to cross the finish line with my arms raised, and then shift gears a little and keep on going for six months. Like a six month cool down jog, rather than just stopping cold.

So, the mechanics of dropping into the green, then the discipline of maintaining at that plateau for six months. That is it.

12-Month Report

I saw my primary care doctor yesterday, or, one of them. This was a nice one, Dr. Saxena. As my selective neck dissection for metastatic squamous neck cancer with occult primary was last year, August 25 2009, we talked about year two. He is not the first to say "we consider you cancer-free," but it is always nice to hear. That said, I'm still going to have to continue following a regular regiment of examination and MRIs on into the foreseeable future.

Moving from the head and neck region apparently I have a hernia, so I'll be checking in with the hernia doctors in a couple of weeks. My "middle-aged" blood lipids ie. HDLs, LDLs, Cholesterol etc. are getting to the point of no longer being ignorable. I pleaded for a short reprieve as I'm in the very beginning stages of a, to date, successful fitness routine. My reprieve was granted. Last, but not least, I'm going to go ahead and give bupropion a try. "Happy pills" as my buddy Jeremy calls them. Giddy details to come, I hope.

The South Berkeley Community Church

This is a note I sent to my old neighborhood mail list. The church and the neighborhood struggle with a lot of crime. It is on the Oakland border, and there seems to be an ongoing Oakland/South Berkeley gang war. It is where I lived for a couple of years, 2006-09. This church was the core of powerful post WWII black political class in Berkeley. It is a stunning design and beautiful church, though run down.
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If you remember Tom Luce who used to be a regular here, he helped me feel some of the despair surrounding this beautiful place.

I was and am still a big fan of the Oakland Tribune columnist Pastor Byron Williams ^[1]. I was surprised and excited to find out he performed Sunday services there. I posted my enthusiasm here on the list.

Turns out at that time he was perceived as a tenant, and not part of the actual SBCC community. The folks who are the SBCC community, apparently Tom and others, are struggling with their pastoral work. There are problems and issues and struggles, and it seemed they aren't anxious to offer too much to the mini-flock that Pastor Williams draws. They operate in parallel.

I get the impression that deep rich significance and history of the legendary SBCC church lives on in an over-worked dwindling few. Not an uncommon story, I guess, like this churches' congregation in 1943 that gave way to SBCC^[2].

I ended up attending the tenant Pastor Williams' service one Sunday morning. I dragged my Christian roommate along with me as sort of a beard. And man, oh man. The space is really amazing and Pastor Williams is the real deal.

I'm too young to know the local church as the center of thriving healthy community. I'm of the ill-fated "suburb" model that was foisted upon us and defines much of community in California. Community is now primarily an abstraction built around ones race or interests or ideology or some such. That ain't bad, any connection is better than isolation. One of the meanings of community is not the place where people go to do with those of a like mind, it is the place where folks actually live, and for some it is a hostile place. Like Fairview Street^[3].

For me churches in California were thriving from 1910 to the 1960s, so as I was growing up they were semi run down places where older people drove some distance through place they didn't feel connected to, to get to the building and meet with other congregants who had done the same.

I can see it though. The SBCC building is a beautiful, reflective, sacred, peaceful place. There are 1000 people who could easily walk there in under five minutes, those people that can actually hear the church bells toll^[4]. A spiritual/community leader could organize and coordinate and care for the health and well-being of the congregation. Cohesiveness and connections would begin to spread out from the building in a small circle five or ten block surrounding the edifice.

Where does such a leader come from? One who, as the 1943 pastor wrote, deals with demographics. Demographics being code for the people who live within the sound of the church bell and have little other connection with each other.

That is my vision, but others are in there and they have their mission and there vision and I wish them well. The shame and despair from Tom is the only bit of their message that has filter through to me.

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1. http://byronspeaks.com
2. http://berkeleyheritage.com/berkeley_landmarks/sbcc.html
3. Fairview Street is where SBCC is located.
4. I used to hear those bloody bells every Sunday morning.